Every small business needs someone keeping an eye on the numbers.
At Thorn & Thimble, that responsibility apparently belongs to Assistant Manager Ozzie.
This evening, Ozzie conducted a very serious review of the books. He inspected the spreadsheets, examined the paperwork, guarded the pen, and generally made certain that no accounting could possibly happen without his direct supervision.
His findings were extensive.
First, there are entirely too many columns.
Second, spreadsheets would be substantially improved if they were warmer.
Third, pens should never be left unattended.
And finally, every successful business should budget for considerably more treats.
Ozzie takes his position seriously. His management style can best be described as firm, furry, and frequently horizontal. He prefers a hands-on approach to paperwork—usually involving both front paws and approximately fifteen pounds of cat placed directly on whatever document is currently most important.
There have been rumors that he occasionally sleeps on the job. Management categorically rejects these accusations. Ozzie is not sleeping. He is conducting closed-eye inventory assessments.
Since Thorn & Thimble has spent a lot of time lately buried in product lists, prices, spreadsheets, Google listings, photographs, and all of the mysterious little pieces that keep an online shop running, it seemed only fair that the Assistant Manager finally receive some recognition for his contributions.
After a thorough examination of the books, Ozzie has officially declared Thorn & Thimble open for business.
He has also declared the paperwork his.
We consider the audit complete.